Art Process

c. 2025, 8ft x 3ft

Foam board, Joint compound, glue, acrylic paint, masking tape, upholstery needles, dog speaking button, miniature lights, resin, wood, spray foam

An overactive amygdala from PTSD can cause sufferers to cry uncontrollably from many different stimuli and reminders of past trauma. This work is supposed to drive empathy for those who suffer from this condition, forcing the audience to cry along with the sufferer. You can walk up and poke this eye, perpetuating a cycle of pain. Pain and trauma is something that is passed back and forth. We hurt people and people can hurt us.

An excerpt from my notes on experiencing trauma

“I was constantly on high alert, wishing I could turn my brain off. Seeing things speaking to me that weren’t actually there. Every breath I took was short and sharp. I felt like I was screaming from the inside out. I felt terrified I would be like this forever. Thinking I was dying, to feel like this and not be dying didn’t make sense. What I hadn’t realized is that my entire identity was becoming fractured. Everything I had known to be true was crumbling in front of me.”

c. 2025, - Foam board, Foam board glue, masking tape, joint compound, glue, acrylic paint, spray foam 

I wanted the triptych to look raw and rough, the red shares passion, grief, sadness, and anger. I think the first question we ask ourselves when dealing with a trauma is Why? Why me, why now, why is this happening? The busyness of the work shows how much the mind races, the rough edges of the square figure on the top left conveys how sharp you can feel in these moments, how much destruction is happening within, and how prickly you can feel within grief and pain. The top right sad clown dons a party hat because you still have to perform outside of this trauma in ways that force you to show up. I was inspired by Louise Nevelson, Keith Haring, and the old master works.

Monstro Libra c. 2025, 2ft x 8 inches

plastic, glass, Cotton yarn, beads, silicone, acrylic, metal, hair

The Lamp is me; I am this monster; I’m all of these parts and bits made up from my experiences. Compounded trauma can leave you feeling broken. But one experience that has mended me has been love. Although I’m still scarred from the worst moments, I’ve found solace through my relationships and friendships. It’s given me the safety to be myself and allowed me to bring myself back together again.

 Despite the experiences that made me feel monstrous, I was able to finally put that aside and feel beautiful again. Sometimes you go through experiences that make you feel gross, ashamed, confused and upset. But turning towards the people who love you during those moments will give you connection and allow you to repair yourself through acceptance and understanding.